I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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