she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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