I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
