i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
