Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
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