woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
