i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
