Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
