Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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