If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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