This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
