yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
