someone get that fucking seahorse.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
