im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
