i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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