Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Randomize
