Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
