Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Boobs are out for the taking
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
