You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
