I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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