It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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