She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
