HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
