And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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