Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
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