I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
