You really coming over, don't trick.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
