Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
