Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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