I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
