when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Randomize
