Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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