I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
