Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
