Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
