whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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