At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
