The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
