nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
