you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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