Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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