I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
