And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
