I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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