Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
sex in a hospital.. check
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
