In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
