i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
