Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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