check it out our google latitudes are spooning
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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