we're chasing vodka with high fives
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
